REALITY CHECK

WEALTH, STATUS AND HEIRARCHY

Money and wealth have no inherent value except the things or experiences they can afford us. The resulting by-products are what make us feel fulfilled. Hence, money is the means to the end. Having money undoubtedly opens you up to a world of choices and gives you incredible access to enjoy so many privileges in life. For men, for instance, being on top of the social hierarchy together with the release of dopamine that comes along with it is a primary motivation.

               Money gives you access to a better life, better experiences and memories. On the other hand, poverty attracts resentment, envy, frustration, hard life, pain and disrespect. Transcultural and cross-societally, we see how this pans out crystal clearly.  Women, in most of these societies, do not regard men who have less than they do; financially, educationally, intellectually and even physically according to some evolutionary biologists. If you pay attention to their conversations and hear how they describe men they regard as ‘less wealthy’ or ‘less competent’ you would better understand this relationship dynamic. Take for example women who are working in high-status sectors (STEM, law, academics) they automatically eliminate men who rank below them from their dating pool. This phenomenon is widely known as hypergamy in other words ‘marrying up’ extends also to the socio-sexual hierarchy. For instance, women in showbiz who have had a fair taste of spotlight and fame have a hard time selecting mates with little or no fame-in most cases. There are a few outliers of course. Women in general have a complicated and interesting mate-picking strategy. There are some exceptions to this rule of thumb, however, the former overlaps it. This certainly has far-reaching consequences, especially for the huge chunk of men who find themselves at the bottom of the hierarchy and automatically eliminated from the dating pool.

               Growing up in Ghana, I saw loads of boys become rich overnight through fraudulent means. It is so prevalent we have coined many words and catchphrases for them: ‘yahoo boys’, ‘sakawa boys’, ‘game boys’ etc. From my little experience in life, I can confidently tell how precarious such an endeavour is. As Fyodor Dostoyevsky said:

‘Every man is responsible for everything that happens to him and. everything that happens to everyone else’

 The underlying motivation for most of them is just to be ‘out there’. Hence, ostentatious display of wealth. Fast cars, expensive shiny jewellery, loud designer apparel, drip, nightlife, women, clout etc. It’s more or less a coping mechanism. People who grew up in poor neighbourhoods or backgrounds are very desperate to show you that they have ‘made it’. There is nothing wrong with coping mechanisms but it often leads to poor financial decisions. That’s why 78% of NFL and 60% of NBA players who made $millions end up broke. Similarly, 90% of the fraud boys in Ghana end up breaking the same way they were after a couple of years. It’s a vicious, ruthless cycle.

 You see, poverty is not a good thing my friend. It has a profound effect on your brain, IQ, conversation depth, taste buds, or even your taste in women. Growing up in extreme poverty affects the brain and those effects often last into adulthood. When you are broke, everything seems linear. Your taste in things is simple and sometimes that creates a false sense of modesty. Having money opens you up to a world of choices and access to options you thought you never had, where your core values will be tested every single day!

Where I grew up, you can easily get away with a lot of things if you have money. A whole lot. Trust me. ‘Standards’, ‘Moral Guides’, and ‘Ethics’ are just for poor people in my country. If they weren’t, all our politicians should be behind bars in a parallel universe. I have seen how this translates even in schools back home. Special treatment was given to children whose parents were influential and commanded a high social status. Teachers and the people in authority often comported themselves when addressing these kids.

My dad fortunately had a reputation and that reputation was: ‘Don’t mess with me’. He had a hard spine. And you didn’t want to push him. The authorities in my school were well aware of this. I remember one morning when he stormed the school premises and scolded the headmistress for failing to provide us with stationery in just the first week of the academic year. The headmistress Madam Rosemond, who was notoriously popular for being ferocious and ruthless to parents who couldn’t stand up for themselves, had to calm him down. My dad obviously did it on purpose as he was a highly conscientious man. These are some subtle perks and privileges you tend to enjoy as a man when you have money and status.       

By age 10, I had already travelled to 3 countries around the world. On one of my first visits to England, we were welcomed by a very long queue at Gatwick Airport. As we were waiting ardently in the queue for hours, some passengers who had just landed walked passed us. I asked my mom and she explained to me that they were passengers from the EU who had priority access thereby avoiding a series of unnecessary interrogations and joining painstaking long queues. That was the exact moment I realized as put together perfectly by George Orwell:

‘All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others’